ILLUSTRATED SEXUAL ANATOMY – A DIFFERENT VIEW.

ILLUSTRATED SEXUAL ANATOMY – A DIFFERENT VIEW.

Sexual science, and even society today, views sex as a pleasurable activity.  It is for many, and for many, not.  Perhaps this is because we put the cart before the horse.  The cart is pleasure and the horse is love.  Even science focuses on sexual anatomy as structures or areas that produce pleasure.  Further, they refer to various proteins (neurotransmitters and receptors, enzymes and hormones) as the source of this pleasure.  But, the creation of these proteins is a function of our genes and science is beginning to show our thought energy is one of the major factors in gene expression.  (Genes are like switches.  “Expression” simply means turning the switch on.)

This different view of sexual anatomy looks at the various anatomical structures as energy producers, a more basic approach.  This is because our “thought energy” as reflected in our attitudes, along with physical stimulation, can not only express various genes, but also prevent their expression!

One of the attributes of energy is that it can be transmitted.  In this different view of sexual anatomy, we will look at the major nerve pathways from the genitalia as “transmission lines” from the various “power plants” in the human body and represent them as an electrical schematic.   Where previously we viewed love as some unknown energy to get a better handle on it, now we are dealing with “hard energy:” generally electrochemical energy.  Most of it is specifically unknown in terms of which ion is doing what to whom, but it is recognized as energy, though some of the terminology is euphemistic, like “chemical signals.”

We will show the structures in the human body that generate this “hard energy,” the sensitive areas, and the nerve pathways by which this energy is transmitted to the brain.  There may be more, but science hasn’t found them yet.  For clarity, we will show the structures in one diagram, and the sensitive areas with the nerve schematic in another.  I apologize for these draft sketches, for which either an artist or anatomist would shoot me, however they do convey two points: 1.  The female genitalia are far more complex than male genitalia, and 2.  The electrical schematic shows a possible biological mechanism for the Kundalini sexual response.

Fig1.  Female Genitalia.

 

Fig. 2 Electrical Schematic of Female Genitalia Nerve Pathways

 Pudendal nerve. 

Now, you don’t have to know these nerve-names, but as long as they have them, we’ll use them.  They are viewed as simply different transmission lines.  The pudendal nerve pathway innervates, or serves, the clitoris and the perigenital skin.

The clitoris is the first structure.  This is not an appendage, or something that is just stuck on.  We only see a little of it on the outside.  The nerve endings in the external clitoris are covered with Pacinian corpuscles.  These are like little socks over the individual nerve endings, making them very sensitive to vibration and pressure.

The drawing above shows only about 30% of the clitoris.  This is a magnificent structure and metaphorically representative of woman: there is a lot more inside than what we see on the outside.

The clitoris has roots on the inside.  It splits over the urethra and has two legs, each called crus, giving it a wishbone shape.  These legs insert on the anterior, or front wall of the vagina near the bottom.  The internal “legs” of the clitoris not only insert on the anterior wall of the vagina, but wrap around the whole darn thing.  And that is not all.  Alongside each crus, or cura, are bulbs of erectile tissue.  Gentlemen are familiar with erectile tissue.  During the arousal phase, many women will have this erectile tissue engorged, just like men’s.  Where the male’s sticks out, facilitating our entry of them, these wishbone legs may spread, opening the vagina slightly, also facilitating their entry by us.  This is commonly referred to as a “wide-on,” but scientists might call it “female erection?”

 

(Courtesy Museum of Sex, New York, NY.)

This sketch only shows the part wrapping around the vagina.  The next one shows even more of the structure, but not as complete.

 

(Courtesy, Museum of Sex. New York, NY.)

The penis also has about 2/3 of the structure inside.  So, the average guy can now honestly claim eighteen inches.  But, what really counts is the size of your love, not your love organ.  The more conditions you impose on your beloved and yourself, the less love you can allow to flow through you.  And it is apparently our love that transforms us.  Sex alone may not do it.

In males, the pudendal nerve is associated with penile skin, scrotum and perineum (perigenital skin).  We lose 50% of our penile skin on circumcision.  The word  “penis” comes from a word meaning “animals tail.”[1]  Think of a dog.  (Many women do, so it won’t be difficult.)  The tail might stick straight up, or straight out as in pointing to prey, or hang between its legs.   It also wags when it is happy.  The word for penis in Sanskrit is “lingam,” which translates to “wand of light.”  One cannot help but wonder, if the word “Lingam” was originally the “wand of enlightenment?”  Or perhaps, the first “magic wand?”  So, gentlemen, have a little more respect for that thing.  And get a lot more respect for the yoni, or sacred place.  Right now, most all of us just see pleasure and there is so much more!

Right underneath the clitoris is the opening for the urethra, or “pee hole.”  This is also the orifice through which female ejaculate comes.  Around the opening of the urethra (meatus) is a very sensitive area called the “U” spot.[2]   It is not known if it is innervated by the pudendal nerve or not, but it would make sense.  Further, this is also a sensitive area for men on the glans penis (head).   It is best to point out here that all the “spots” are simply areas of greater sensitivity than the surrounding area.  These are not anatomical structures and therefore cannot be surgically modified.

Fig. 3 Electrical schematic of Male Genitalia

Perigenital skin.  The skin in this area is very sensitive and generally responds to light stroking, either digital or oral-lingual.  The pudendal nerve ties into the sacral nerve at the base of the spine at S-2 and S-3 (second and third vertebrae in the Sacral area) and the nerve impulses are transferred up the spinal column to the brain.  The term “sacral “ nerve comes from the word “sacred.”  Again, in ancient Sanskrit, the word for the female genitalia is “yoni,” which means “the sacred place.”  Also, this area, at the base of the spine, is the home of the Hindu “sacred life snake” named Kundalini.

The pudendal nerve enters the spine between L – 4, and 5, as well as S – 1, 2, 3 and 4.  L is a designator for the Lumbar area of the spine, and S is for the Sacral area.  These are being mentioned and shown for a specific reason, revealed in the next chapter.

So far, we only have three highly erogenous zones for women.  We are going to wind up with 16 for women and only six for men.  Are you beginning to see why women are such fantastic creatures?  And this is just the beginning!

Pelvic Nerve.

The pelvic nerve innervates the perigenital skin, the vaginal barrel in front of the prostate, the cervix and the rectum.  It is also believed to innervate the female prostate.  Note the perigenital skin is served by two major nerve pathways: pelvic and pudendal.

The first third of the vagina seems to have a higher concentration of pelvic nerve endings than the rest of the vaginal barrel. The sensitive area through the anterior wall near the opening where the swollen tissue or glands from the female prostate protruded onto the wall, was known as the “G spot” from 1982 on, and brought a great deal of attention to our sex lives in terms of additional pleasure for women.   It was thought, but not scientifically shown, to influence the “vaginal orgasm.” As sexual arousal increased, the prostate became engorged, which may increase the “size of the G spot.”  The G spot is not an anatomical structure.  It is the Sexologist’s term for a sensitive area where a response may be elicited when stimulated.  Not all women like, or respond to this stimulation, and prefer other areas to be stimulated.  The terminology of “G spot” did a great deal of good by focusing the general public’s, and science’s attention on female sexual anatomy.

Since we have mentioned the vagina, the origin of the word might be inserted here.  In 1559, Matteo Realdo Colombo, an Italian anatomist, writing in De Re Atonomica, described this anatomical structure as akin to the sheath or scabbard that holds the sword, literally in Latin, vagina equals scabbard.[3]   This is in keeping with the later, ancient thought that men are “penetrators.”

Female Prostate.  Galen, the famous Greco-Roman physician, first described the female prostate before the year 200 AD.  The female prostate is not as well defined as the male prostate.  The male prostate is composed of about 10 to 20 glands and ducts, nicely packaged in the Prostatic Capsule and snuggled up next to the bladder at the back end of the urethra.  The female prostate is composed of up to 100 glands and ducts, or more, around the urethra: hence the interim name, “periurethral glands.”  “Pariurethral” simply means around the urethra.  So, from that standpoint, the male prostate is also a “pariurethral gland.”

 

Figure 4. Female Prostate.

This drawing shows the arrangement of ducts common to about 10% of women.  Sixty-six percent have these ducts bunched up toward the meatus and 6% have the distribution more bunched up in the center of the urethra.  That percentage is based on over 200 autopsies of Caucasian women.  In different parts of the world, the percentages may vary, to the point where we say that the female prostate is like the nose: they are all different, some small, some large, some with bumps and some without.

While we are here on the G spot, if you will turn the drawing on the side, face up, it is easy to see how with the standard missionary position it is easy to miss, or not fully engage this area.  Various modifications of the missionary position can help alleviate this oversight.  We will mention that Grafenberg, for whom the G spot was named by Dr. Whipple and Dr. John Perry, suggests rear entry, or doggie style, to fully engage the G spot.[4]  When stimulating the G spot digitally, it is generally best to use two fingers, one on either side.  This also picks up the insertion points of the clitoris’s legs, or cura!  The pelvic nerve enters the spinal column at S-2 – S-4.  This is simply between the 2nd 3^rd and 4th vertebrae in the sacral region of the spine.

The pelvic nerve only innervates one area in the rectum for men.  That’s four more for women totaling seven and one for men totaling four.

Hypogastric nerve.

The hypogastric nerve innervates the cervix and the uterus.  The cervix opens into the vagina.  While we are in the vagina—interesting thought—let’s go all the way to the top-front near the cervix.  This part is called the fornix and it also has been shown to contain a sensitive area.  The nerve connections are not known.  It is called “the A spot.”  That’s five.

On the posterior, or back wall of the vagina, there are a group of cells called the interstitial cells of Cajal.[5]  These are energy producers: calcium ions.  They are referred to as “electrical wave producers.”  Energy!  They are generally, or were first found, near the heart and in the intestinal tract.   From their proximity to the heart, they are called “pacemaker cells.”  Calcium ions trigger dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters and receptors among other things.  These cells are additionally stimulated by pressure, which may be sexually induced.  Then we not only have nerve endings but also these little rascals producing ions, if we don’t hold them back.  These are connected to some unknown nerve nexus.  They are also found in the corpora cavernosum (penis “muscle”), so we have them too.[6]  This gives us two more specific, but suspected areas for women, possibly innervated by the hypogastric or pelvic nerves, or both.  We also have one for men.

There are now a total of four different areas (two just suspected) associated with the hypogastric nerve, some working in conjunction with other nerve pathways.  So the total for women is 12.  In men, the hypogastric nerve is associated with the testes and the prostate.  This totals 7 areas for men and we haven’t finished with women!  The hypogastric nerve has three different insertion points in the thoracic area of the spinal column at Th-10, Th-11 and Th-12.  “Th” refers to the thoracic area of the spine.

We have to understand that for the past few hundred years, there has been a guy here, or a guy there, that has scientifically looked at specific parts of female sexual anatomy and physiology.  But only in the past 50 years or so have these people come together, comparing notes and arguing over the “rightness” and “wrongness” of various scientific conclusions in this field.  As an example, a Malaysian physician, Chua Chee Ann, discovered the “A” spot in 1993.  Prof. Ali A. Shafik, from Egypt, wrote on the interstitial cells of Cajal in 2007!  This is what advances science and they have a long way to go!  But, many of the detrimental myths that we currently live with, now are being shattered by science.

Vagus nerve

The ladies have one more major nerve pathway in the genitalia: the Vagus nerve pathway.  It innervates the cervix and the uterus.  The vagus nerve doesn’t go up the spinal column.  It wanders around a woman’s body, leaving a path like some women on a mall-shopping trip!  “Vagus” means wanderer.  Now, of course, the male vagus nerve is much more squared away.  Just as our prostate is neatly packaged and squared away.  We are so squared away that sometimes we could think our vagus nerve travels at right angles around our body.  We are so interested in being squared away, we forgot to stop and ask for directions.  You know us guys. So, our vagus nerve never got connected to our genitalia.  Really, the male vagus nerve pathway pretty much follows the same path and connects to the same structures as the female, excluding the genitalia.

But, thanks to women, all is not lost!  The Vagus nerve is known as the “nerve of compassion.”  “In a series of controversial papers, physiological psychologist Steve Porges has made the case that the vagus nerve is the nerve of compassion, the body’s caretaking organ.”[7]  Although ours is not hooked up to our genitalia, we have many other ways of showing compassion.  When we compassionately say, “My heart goes out to you,” we aren’t kidding.  The vagus nerve is connected to many of our anatomical structrues, including the heart.  Perhaps women feel compassion more “deeply” than men simply because of this connection at the cervix.

Note that we have three major nerve pathways in the area of the cervix: pelvic, hypogastric and now the vagus nerve pathways.  It is the stimulation of this area, along with the others, that creates what Dr. Barbara Keesling calls The Super Sexual Orgasm.[8]  It could also be called an Optimal Blended orgasm.  We have all four major nerve pathways being stimulated sending impulses to the brain.  But, be careful.  There are some areas around the cervix where the “skin,” or epithelial tissue, is only one cell thick!  It can be easily damaged.  And guys, with the woman on top, gravity pulls her cervix down, so you can save your money on Enzyte.

In her book, The Super Sexual Orgasm, she describes this orgasm as being something much more different that a vaginal orgasm and believe me it is!  The likable thing about her book is that it gave exercises for women to become more comfortable with their own sexuality and with their partner.  It is this comfortability with our sexuality that allows for these orgasms to occur.  That brain of ours is so cluttered up with a bunch of garbage, it just automatically shuts down our pleasure no matter how much energy we are sending it.  Our thoughts, even the ones we don’t know we have, do a lot of controlling in our lives and especially in our sex lives.  And gentlemen, it is a part of our job to help our partner become more comfortable with her sexuality as we become more comfortable with our own.  And make her comfortable with who we are.

So what is the bottom line?  Women have a greater capacity for generating this electrochemical energy than men.  They have at least 14 structures and areas, served by four major nerve pathways where we have 7 structures and areas served by three major nerve pathways.  We exclude the hypogastric and vagus nerve connection in the uterus because the stimulation may be secondary, rather than primary.  This energy, when released does work and work over time is power.  That is a simple engineering definition of power.  And it can be believed by some to be the power that alters our brain and body chemistry to make us better human beings, to raise us to the altitude of genius, by “building the muscles” of our consciousness.

There may be more structures in the female genitalia that are “activated” in a secondary fashion: that is not by direct contact, such as those in the uterus.  The female genitalia are amazing and we have just begun the scientific journey.

One last note: the most important sex organ is the brain.  All of these above won’t work as intended without the involvement of the brain and the mind!  We will continue to discuss the impact of this organ as we continue.  For example, the nerve endings in the uterus are not mechanically stimulated, but they work anyway.

So they have it.  Power.  How do we get it?  It is a gift that we must be willing to receive, just as her love is a gift to us.  How this is transmitted, we can only guess.  It is idiopathic.  (Don’t you love that word: “idiopathic?”) It is as though some of this energy escapes the unshielded parts of the nerve’s axon, or trunk and it goes through her vaginal wall onto and through the thin skin of our penis, our wand of enlightenment, enabling us and providing us with an experience, beyond our wildest dreams.  Or perhaps it is excess energy from the interstitial cells of Cajal.  Then again, it may simply be our own love-energy, reflecting off the polished mirror of her love.  If for no other reason than this fantastic anatomy and physiology, this capacity to generate this energy and power, women deserve to be treated with much more dignity and respect than has been afforded them over the centuries.  It is time for a change.  Let’s hope we make it.

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[1]  The Story of V, Catherine Blackledge, Rutgers University Press, 2004

[2] The Naked Woman: A Study of the Female Body, Morris, D., Thomas Dunne Books, New York, NY, 2005

[3] The Story of V, Catherine Blackledge, Rutgers University Press, 2004, p.60

[4] The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm, Ernest Gräfenberg, M.D., 1950, International Journal of Sexology

[5] Identification of a vaginal pacemaker: An immunohistochemical and morphometric study, A. Shafik, A. A. Shafik, O. El Sibai and I. A. Shafik, 2007 Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology Jan 2007, Vol. 27, No. 5, Pages 485-488: 485-488.

[6] Interstitial Cells of Cajal in Erectile Dysfunction, Shafik, O. El-Sibai 2006, Arch Androl 52: 255-262   Vol. 52, No. 4

[7] Born to be Good, Keltner, D., W. W. Norton & Company, 2009 p. 228

[8] The Super Sexual Orgasm, Keesling, Barbara, Harper Collins, 1997

Love: A Many Splendored Spectrum: A Physical Model of Love

“I find Art’s prismatic model of love intriguing in its simplicity and inclusiveness.  It would fit well into any religion or belief system.” 

Fr. Thomas J. Rynne.

Abstract:  Love is currently defined as a feeling, generated by altered brain chemistry and then, generally between a man and woman.  This definition of love limits our capacity as human beings.  The proposed model of love is simply a model from which many simplistic observations can be made.  It also offers a different look at “boundaries.” Love can then be defined as any relationship with a noun (person, place or thing) that brings some “quantity” of joy into the life of the lover.  I love a good steak dinner, but I prefer women.  Maybe it really is simple?

~~~

While in the throes of failed models for love, I came across a mind-blowing Hindu myth:

Once upon a time, in the Indus Valley, running through parts of what we now call India, Pakistan and Afghanistan, the people were under attack by evil gods and demons.  They learned their only salvation would come from the son of Shiva, a god representing the Divine Masculine, and Shakti, a goddess representing the Divine Feminine, then in her second incarnation as Parvati. The people went to Shiva, an ascetic god, and pleaded with him.  They interuppted his meditation, so he told them to bug off.  The people then went to Kama, the god of love, and told him the story.  Kama said he would see what he could do.  Kama fashioned a bow from sugarcane and an arrow from a flower.  He waited until Parvati was walking by Shiva and shot Shiva with the arrow.

There were two results;

1.  The birth of Karttikeya who slew the demons and evil spirits, and

2.  Shiva was resentful at Kama for messing up his way of life.  Shiva hunted Kama and when he found him, focused the energy from his third eye upon him.  Kama burst into flames leaving only a pile of ash and borderless, boundryless, conditionless love all about the world.  Think of the earth’s magnetic field.  Where ever we go, there it is. 

Next, I checked out the Cologne Sanskrit Digital Lexicon and found 531 responses for the word “love,”  most dealing with erotic love.  This boderless love in Sanskrit was called ApAaga.  No way they were going to fit on a Venn diagram.  The question was, if love is not a feeling, what could it be?  Since Einstein, everything is energy. 

E=mc²

Energy has two attributes that may be considered common with love: it can be transmitted and it can be transformed.  Look at electrical energy.  It is transmitted along wires into a microwave oven where it is transformed into microwave energy.  This energy is then transformed into heat energy when we “nuke” a potato.  We know this every time we take a hot, baked potato out of the microwave oven. Chapter 1 talks about our transformation.  The easiest way to model love would be as energy. 

We can transmit love with a smile.  The smile makes us feel better and perhaps the person we are smiling to feels better also.  We have “transformed” our feelings.  So, we can look at love as energy.  What kind of energy?  Who knows and who cares?  This is only a model and it seems to work.  This is not to say love is or is not energy.  It is simply a way of looking at it.  If it is energy, we can let others get down to the nitty gritty of frequencies and wavelengths and all the scientific stuff.  There is work in Russia regarding “attitudes” impacting our genes, and who knows: love may simply be an attitude?  Or is an attitude simply a reflection of our thoughts?

Metaphorically, let’s look at love energy as though it were light energy.  We’ve heard a lot about “unconditional love:” Agape, or “ApAaga” in Sanskrit.  Let’s imagine it to be white light.  Yet, there are many kinds of love: brotherly love, erotic love, mother love, etc.  A way of separating white light into its component colors is through a prism.  A way of separating unconditional love into its various forms is through people, or what is in our minds.  We are as love’s prism.

 

Love refracting through the prism of our mind.

            Others, with greater spiritual knowledge than I, believe energy is concentrated in various sections of our bodies called “Chakras,” which are color-coded.  The “red Chakra” or “root Chakra” is located in the genital area, so we can let red represent erotic love, right at the top.  We can also coordinate other forms of love with these colors.  It is important to note that the colors have tiny, blurred boundaries.  The colors are scientifically defined by given areas of frequency in the electromagnetic spectrum.  In other words, red isn’t orange.  We should know our boundaries and protect them.

            Some 400 years ago, Newton and others observed if you screened or blocked part of the white light at the prism, you only got part of the rainbow.  If you blocked the prism on the other side, you only got part of the rainbow.  Sometimes one or both sides are just dirty and need a good washing, particularly in the region of erotic love.  The screens blocked the light just as the conditions we place on our love block that energy.  As an example, a guy becomes enamored of his secretary and finds the feeling is mutual.  When they begin the affair, what is the first condition, spoken or unspoken, he puts on his love?—“Don’t tell my wife.”  “Conditions,” or “screens” are generally based in fear.  It is like sticking a piece of chewing gum on the prism.  Other conditions we might place on our beloved might range from “Don’t ejaculate,” to “Don’t squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.”

 

              “Love’s Prism with a piece of Chewing gum.”

Of course, we all have these little bits of chewing gum all over our prisms and our “rainbow” is missing a lot of colors.  For the intellectual, these bits of chewing gum are called “memes” or “viruses of the mind.”  They are simple, subject-verb-object, negative thoughs, many implanted and transferred over the centuries.  “Women are evil,” is traced to the Malleus Maleficarum of 1486 and “men are dogs” may go back to Lysistrata around 411 BC.  Or as it is said in the military, “Grab ‘em by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow.”  It is quite similar to Pavlov’s dogs where we are conditioned to respond.

            We all have screens over our prisms, or conditions we put on love.  We seem to congregate with others who have screens covering the same areas of the prism.  I don’t know or care where your screens are.  Sometimes I think what we call “true love” is no more than two people having chewing gum in the same places on their respective prisms.  Problems arise when one scrapes some of it off.   I am here to simply suggest we at least change our screens from opaque to translucent.  Or scrape some of the chewing gum off. Let a little light through. 

 

Now, why would we want to wash our “prismatic” self?  If a smile can make us feel better, what would allowing love to stream through us do to us when we are making love with our beloved?  There is a lot more intense energy being generated in sexual congress than in just smiling. 

Science knows of many different proteins being created during this time, but certainly not all of them.  We know from ancient and modern history, transformations of we humans can occur through sexual love.  Oh yeah, with love, the sex is better too.

Of course, this is simply the speculation of a novelist. If this speculation is anywhere near correct, don’t think for an instant it deprives love of its mystery.  We will all be long gone from this mortal coil, or mortal double helix, before science accepts love as energy.  Even then, the mystery will remain.  I hope I am wrong about science.  But this is simply provided as a different way of looking at love.  I’m an engineer.  Whaddya expect? 

We modeled our spectrum of love on the visible light spectrum, mostly so we could visualize it.  We humans need this. But, visible light is only a tiny part of the Electromagnetic Spectrum (EMS), and this shows “erotic love” at the bottom, because red has a lower frequency,but a longer wavelength than purple.

 Let’s see what science says about these frequencies.

It can be seen from the different forms of human love, our behaviors would occupy different areas of the spectrum within the boundaries.  The frequencies in the electromagnetic spectrum of the basic colors are measured in Tetrahertz (10¹² Hz) as follows:

Indigo-             665 – 715 Thz

Blue-                610 – 680 Thz

Green-             520 – 570 Thz

Yellow-            515 – 525 Thz

Orange-           485 – 510 Thz

Red-                405 – 480 Thz

We are just interested in the numbers.  Note the 5 Thz gaps between red and orange and orange and yellow.  There are “colors” and frequencies in those gaps, but they are neither red nor orange.  (Red-orange?)  Also note how green, blue and indigo overlap.  I don’t think the guys defining colors had anything to do but argue over which color was which, so they probably compromised on these numbers.  Maybe we might consider bringing all of these “colors” into the bedroom.

Could Love be Different for Women?

In looking at our prism, we can see it represents the ancient male symbol, the blade.  If we turned it upside down, it would represent the ancient female symbol, the chalice and red would be at the bottom, as it is in the EMS.  I wonder, do women look at love differently?  But that would be only a perception of this energy.  The energy itself has no gender attached: it embraces us all, if we allow it.

 

 

Could Love be Bigger?

            Our model of the prism and visible light spectrum only looks at the range of love as humans can perceive it, or perhaps intellectually know of it.  The EMS is a lot bigger.  Maybe the EMS is a measurable shadow of the love spectrum?  Perhaps to “perceive” more of it would require opening of other senses?  Forget it!  We have enough to handle right here.

How Do We Love?

            Now that we’ve finished all the theoretical stuff, we can forget it.  Let’s get down to brass tacks.  You’ve met a young lady, or you might be married to her.  Your paraventricular nucleus in the hypothalamus is putting out “those” signals.  You want to ravage her body.  Now, what about your desire to give her love?  You may “love” her as a friend, but that doesn’t give you “those” signals.  If all you have is “those” signals, get a blow up doll.  They don’t take the house when it is over. 

            When we get into sexual anatomy, you wil

l see what a fantastic creature a woman is, just from an anatomical point of view.  We know they think differently, possibly because of the corpus callosum connecting the left and right halves of the brain.  This is cool because they can offer a different perspective on the same problem and keep us from beating our heads against a wall, if we listen to them.  They have a lot going for them, besides being a “friend with benefits.” 

            OK.  Now, how much do you really know about this woman?  Can you think about her in a non-erotic way?  Just about what a good mother she is, about all the attributes she has; how she treats her friends and yours; how she behaves with you in public and in private (remember, this is non-erotic.)  When you can think about her in a non-erotic way and still get a bulge in your trousers, this is a pretty good indicator that you are in love.

            If we think we are responsible for love, we are putting a burden on ourselves.  By viewing it as something (energy?) outside of us, it makes it a lot easier.  We simply have to open ourselves to it.

            I’m just a guy with as much “chewing gum” on my prism as you will find under a 7^th grade desktop.  When I wanted to give my love to my beloved, I figured I didn’t have much to offer.  Then I thought, “God can do a much better job than me.”  I envisioned a door on my back, opened it up and let God love her through me.  Done deal.  I wanted to give her the best of everything, including love.  I had not formulated the energy concept at the time.  It was that kind of desire to love, as well as ravage her body.  The temporary results were phenomenal!  I don’t know if I chose the right one or the wrong one, because it didn’t last long.  Damn near killed me when it ended.  But, the experiences I enjoyed, and I mean enjoyed at the deepest sense of the word, with her and others, led to my research to find out just what the hell was going on in our bodies, that I now share with you.  You don’t have to envision a door on your back.  For a poet, I am rather prosaic in these matters.  You may want to think of love as X-rays, and all you have to do is stand in front of the machine and let it pass through you to her.  Whatever works for you will be just fine, but it helps a lot if she is doing the same thing, with whatever works for her.

Yes, it is this simple.  Not easy, but simple.

There is a lot of talk about “foreplay” generally done in the bedroom as foreplay for sex.  Foreplay for love is done out of the bedroom, from a sense of desire to love.  When we bring that into the bedroom, Hoo Boy!  We’ll look at this in the next chapter.

Abraham Maslow

            In 1954, Maslow developed a hierarchy of human needs.  Later these were modeled in the triangle fashion as such: 

 

It is now suggested we take another look at this hierarchy to see how these needs are actually met, noting that Maslow based this hierarchy on

what he considered “healthy” individuals.  This is just a thought for consideration with our new perspective on love, not saying this is the way it is.

 

            Looking at this through our developmental stages, from infancy, childhood, adulthood, up to death, we all need to love and be loved.  In infancy, regardless of the time period in human history, our parents met most of our physiological and safety needs.  Even sexual intimacy in childhood is observed in children playing with their wee-wee’s, until parents come along and beat the crap out of them.  Love in, from and through the family, gives us our sense of belonging as well as our esteem.  Developing past puberty, sexual intimacy will give us the ability to create and self-actualize, however, self love is also very important here, including children getting a sense of sexual intimacy with themselves.  We simply open our selves to it for us.?

Copyright Art Noble 2010

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