“I find Art’s prismatic model of love intriguing in its simplicity and inclusiveness. It would fit well into any religion or belief system.”
Fr. Thomas J. Rynne.
Abstract: Love is currently defined as a feeling, generated by altered brain chemistry and then, generally between a man and woman. This definition of love limits our capacity as human beings. The proposed model of love is simply a model from which many simplistic observations can be made. It also offers a different look at “boundaries.” Love can then be defined as any relationship with a noun (person, place or thing) that brings some “quantity” of joy into the life of the lover. I love a good steak dinner, but I prefer women. Maybe it really is simple?
While in the throes of failed models for love, I came across a mind-blowing Hindu myth:
Once upon a time, in the Indus Valley, running through parts of what we now call India, Pakistan and Afghanistan, the people were under attack by evil gods and demons. They learned their only salvation would come from the son of Shiva, a god representing the Divine Masculine, and Shakti, a goddess representing the Divine Feminine, then in her second incarnation as Parvati. The people went to Shiva, an ascetic god, and pleaded with him. They interuppted his meditation, so he told them to bug off. The people then went to Kama, the god of love, and told him the story. Kama said he would see what he could do. Kama fashioned a bow from sugarcane and an arrow from a flower. He waited until Parvati was walking by Shiva and shot Shiva with the arrow.
There were two results;
1. The birth of Karttikeya who slew the demons and evil spirits, and
2. Shiva was resentful at Kama for messing up his way of life. Shiva hunted Kama and when he found him, focused the energy from his third eye upon him. Kama burst into flames leaving only a pile of ash and borderless, boundryless, conditionless love all about the world. Think of the earth’s magnetic field. Where ever we go, there it is.
Next, I checked out the Cologne Sanskrit Digital Lexicon and found 531 responses for the word “love,” most dealing with erotic love. This boderless love in Sanskrit was called ApAaga. No way they were going to fit on a Venn diagram. The question was, if love is not a feeling, what could it be? Since Einstein, everything is energy.
Energy has two attributes that may be considered common with love: it can be transmitted and it can be transformed. Look at electrical energy. It is transmitted along wires into a microwave oven where it is transformed into microwave energy. This energy is then transformed into heat energy when we “nuke” a potato. We know this every time we take a hot, baked potato out of the microwave oven. Chapter 1 talks about our transformation. The easiest way to model love would be as energy.
We can transmit love with a smile. The smile makes us feel better and perhaps the person we are smiling to feels better also. We have “transformed” our feelings. So, we can look at love as energy. What kind of energy? Who knows and who cares? This is only a model and it seems to work. This is not to say love is or is not energy. It is simply a way of looking at it. If it is energy, we can let others get down to the nitty gritty of frequencies and wavelengths and all the scientific stuff. There is work in Russia regarding “attitudes” impacting our genes, and who knows: love may simply be an attitude? Or is an attitude simply a reflection of our thoughts?
Metaphorically, let’s look at love energy as though it were light energy. We’ve heard a lot about “unconditional love:” Agape, or “ApAaga” in Sanskrit. Let’s imagine it to be white light. Yet, there are many kinds of love: brotherly love, erotic love, mother love, etc. A way of separating white light into its component colors is through a prism. A way of separating unconditional love into its various forms is through people, or what is in our minds. We are as love’s prism.
- Love refracting through the prism of our mind.
Others, with greater spiritual knowledge than I, believe energy is concentrated in various sections of our bodies called “Chakras,” which are color-coded. The “red Chakra” or “root Chakra” is located in the genital area, so we can let red represent erotic love, right at the top. We can also coordinate other forms of love with these colors. It is important to note that the colors have tiny, blurred boundaries. The colors are scientifically defined by given areas of frequency in the electromagnetic spectrum. In other words, red isn’t orange. We should know our boundaries and protect them.
Some 400 years ago, Newton and others observed if you screened or blocked part of the white light at the prism, you only got part of the rainbow. If you blocked the prism on the other side, you only got part of the rainbow. Sometimes one or both sides are just dirty and need a good washing, particularly in the region of erotic love. The screens blocked the light just as the conditions we place on our love block that energy. As an example, a guy becomes enamored of his secretary and finds the feeling is mutual. When they begin the affair, what is the first condition, spoken or unspoken, he puts on his love?—“Don’t tell my wife.” “Conditions,” or “screens” are generally based in fear. It is like sticking a piece of chewing gum on the prism. Other conditions we might place on our beloved might range from “Don’t ejaculate,” to “Don’t squeeze the toothpaste in the middle.”
“Love’s Prism with a piece of Chewing gum.”
Of course, we all have these little bits of chewing gum all over our prisms and our “rainbow” is missing a lot of colors. For the intellectual, these bits of chewing gum are called “memes” or “viruses of the mind.” They are simple, subject-verb-object, negative thoughs, many implanted and transferred over the centuries. “Women are evil,” is traced to the Malleus Maleficarum of 1486 and “men are dogs” may go back to Lysistrata around 411 BC. Or as it is said in the military, “Grab ‘em by the balls and their hearts and minds will follow.” It is quite similar to Pavlov’s dogs where we are conditioned to respond.
We all have screens over our prisms, or conditions we put on love. We seem to congregate with others who have screens covering the same areas of the prism. I don’t know or care where your screens are. Sometimes I think what we call “true love” is no more than two people having chewing gum in the same places on their respective prisms. Problems arise when one scrapes some of it off. I am here to simply suggest we at least change our screens from opaque to translucent. Or scrape some of the chewing gum off. Let a little light through.
Now, why would we want to wash our “prismatic” self? If a smile can make us feel better, what would allowing love to stream through us do to us when we are making love with our beloved? There is a lot more intense energy being generated in sexual congress than in just smiling.
Science knows of many different proteins being created during this time, but certainly not all of them. We know from ancient and modern history, transformations of we humans can occur through sexual love. Oh yeah, with love, the sex is better too.
Of course, this is simply the speculation of a novelist. If this speculation is anywhere near correct, don’t think for an instant it deprives love of its mystery. We will all be long gone from this mortal coil, or mortal double helix, before science accepts love as energy. Even then, the mystery will remain. I hope I am wrong about science. But this is simply provided as a different way of looking at love. I’m an engineer. Whaddya expect?
We modeled our spectrum of love on the visible light spectrum, mostly so we could visualize it. We humans need this. But, visible light is only a tiny part of the Electromagnetic Spectrum (EMS), and this shows “erotic love” at the bottom, because red has a lower frequency,but a longer wavelength than purple.
Let’s see what science says about these frequencies.
It can be seen from the different forms of human love, our behaviors would occupy different areas of the spectrum within the boundaries. The frequencies in the electromagnetic spectrum of the basic colors are measured in Tetrahertz (1012 Hz) as follows:
Indigo- 665 – 715 Thz
Blue- 610 – 680 Thz
Green- 520 – 570 Thz
Yellow- 515 – 525 Thz
Orange- 485 – 510 Thz
Red- 405 – 480 Thz
We are just interested in the numbers. Note the 5 Thz gaps between red and orange and orange and yellow. There are “colors” and frequencies in those gaps, but they are neither red nor orange. (Red-orange?) Also note how green, blue and indigo overlap. I don’t think the guys defining colors had anything to do but argue over which color was which, so they probably compromised on these numbers. Maybe we might consider bringing all of these “colors” into the bedroom.
Could Love be Different for Women?
In looking at our prism, we can see it represents the ancient male symbol, the blade. If we turned it upside down, it would represent the ancient female symbol, the chalice and red would be at the bottom, as it is in the EMS. I wonder, do women look at love differently? But that would be only a perception of this energy. The energy itself has no gender attached: it embraces us all, if we allow it.
Could Love be Bigger?
Our model of the prism and visible light spectrum only looks at the range of love as humans can perceive it, or perhaps intellectually know of it. The EMS is a lot bigger. Maybe the EMS is a measurable shadow of the love spectrum? Perhaps to “perceive” more of it would require opening of other senses? Forget it! We have enough to handle right here.
How Do We Love?
Now that we’ve finished all the theoretical stuff, we can forget it. Let’s get down to brass tacks. You’ve met a young lady, or you might be married to her. Your paraventricular nucleus in the hypothalamus is putting out “those” signals. You want to ravage her body. Now, what about your desire to give her love? You may “love” her as a friend, but that doesn’t give you “those” signals. If all you have is “those” signals, get a blow up doll. They don’t take the house when it is over.
When we get into sexual anatomy, you wil
l see what a fantastic creature a woman is, just from an anatomical point of view. We know they think differently, possibly because of the corpus callosum connecting the left and right halves of the brain. This is cool because they can offer a different perspective on the same problem and keep us from beating our heads against a wall, if we listen to them. They have a lot going for them, besides being a “friend with benefits.”
OK. Now, how much do you really know about this woman? Can you think about her in a non-erotic way? Just about what a good mother she is, about all the attributes she has; how she treats her friends and yours; how she behaves with you in public and in private (remember, this is non-erotic.) When you can think about her in a non-erotic way and still get a bulge in your trousers, this is a pretty good indicator that you are in love.
If we think we are responsible for love, we are putting a burden on ourselves. By viewing it as something (energy?) outside of us, it makes it a lot easier. We simply have to open ourselves to it.
I’m just a guy with as much “chewing gum” on my prism as you will find under a 7th grade desktop. When I wanted to give my love to my beloved, I figured I didn’t have much to offer. Then I thought, “God can do a much better job than me.” I envisioned a door on my back, opened it up and let God love her through me. Done deal. I wanted to give her the best of everything, including love. I had not formulated the energy concept at the time. It was that kind of desire to love, as well as ravage her body. The temporary results were phenomenal! I don’t know if I chose the right one or the wrong one, because it didn’t last long. Damn near killed me when it ended. But, the experiences I enjoyed, and I mean enjoyed at the deepest sense of the word, with her and others, led to my research to find out just what the hell was going on in our bodies, that I now share with you. You don’t have to envision a door on your back. For a poet, I am rather prosaic in these matters. You may want to think of love as X-rays, and all you have to do is stand in front of the machine and let it pass through you to her. Whatever works for you will be just fine, but it helps a lot if she is doing the same thing, with whatever works for her.
Yes, it is this simple. Not easy, but simple.
There is a lot of talk about “foreplay” generally done in the bedroom as foreplay for sex. Foreplay for love is done out of the bedroom, from a sense of desire to love. When we bring that into the bedroom, Hoo Boy! We’ll look at this in the next chapter.
In 1954, Maslow developed a hierarchy of human needs. Later these were modeled in the triangle fashion as such:
It is now suggested we take another look at this hierarchy to see how these needs are actually met, noting that Maslow based this hierarchy on
what he considered “healthy” individuals. This is just a thought for consideration with our new perspective on love, not saying this is the way it is.
Looking at this through our developmental stages, from infancy, childhood, adulthood, up to death, we all need to love and be loved. In infancy, regardless of the time period in human history, our parents met most of our physiological and safety needs. Even sexual intimacy in childhood is observed in children playing with their wee-wee’s, until parents come along and beat the crap out of them. Love in, from and through the family, gives us our sense of belonging as well as our esteem. Developing past puberty, sexual intimacy will give us the ability to create and self-actualize, however, self love is also very important here, including children getting a sense of sexual intimacy with themselves. We simply open our selves to it for us.?
Copyright Art Noble 2010