We each have our own, somewhat unique perspective on the subject of sex. Many times, what we say for political correctness and what we do are two different things. I feel we are like the five blind men and the elephant. Some stand on one side of the elephant yelling, “Procreation!” Yet, they do not stand in exactly the same spot, so their view and perspective is different. On the other side of the elephant, the crowd shouts, “Pleasure.” They too stand in different spots. The legs could be called “bonding,” “intimacy,” “kink” and “other” where other is GLBT etc. the tail, trunk and tusks are up for grabs.
Our perspective comes from what we have learned through our experience and our mental input about the experiences and dysfunctional beliefs of others ranging from hard-core porn to scientific research. As I was studying sexual biology, it occurred to me everything we do and feel is first a mental and or physical stimulation of nerve endings and secondly how our mind interprets, enhancing or blocking, those impulses. This interpretation impacts us at the level of our DNA, providing slightly different brain chemistry for each of us. This in turn, affects our behavior. The masochist stubbing his toe, might kick the chair again because it feels good? I don’t know.
Because the sexual responses I experienced were beyond orgasm, and what science says, I had to put sex in the category of nerve ending stimulation. As I continued to learn, I found that coitus, nor even genital contact, were necessary to elicit any of these sexual responses: they could all occur through mental stimulation. Of course, there is something missing fro the non-genital response: the warmth of human contact. What is this warmth? Could it be a tiny bit of love? And what is love? I’ve already discussed this in my blog, Love: A Many Splendored Spectrum. The result of this thinking is the premise; sex is a mechanism for transmitting love. This puts our elephant in an entirely different perspective.
I would point out, our pleasure/procreation paradigm is both incomplete and a political construct designed to keep us from even thinking about transmitting love during sex! Why? “Authority” does not want us doing this. Keep us fat dumb and happy with pleasure or kids and forget about love. This started about 5 or 10,000 years ago, so it is pretty well ingrained in us. I’ve looked at many of the admonitions about sex and love throughout history as well as the historic transformations occurring through erotic love. Those transformed realize how full of crap “authority” is on this subject which is why they want to keep us fat, dumb and happy.
Where others call our transformation a “spiritual experience,” because they don’t really know what is happening, I prefer to call it a genetic restructuring because I don’t really know what is happening. But, genetic restructuring is something I can get my head around to explain what the heck is going on in our bodies.
So, there you have it: both another perspective on sex and a reason why this has been kept from us. You are free to choose. I might add that orgasm can become a non-event—a miniscule thing compared to the joy and ecstasy available—when transmitting love.
© Art Noble 2012