(This is the Author’s Note from my new book, The Alchemy of Erotic Love… for Guys. We’ve been screwed over royally and I hope you are as ticked off as I am!)
When it comes to sex and love, both men and women have been screwed over for at least the last 5000 years in Western civilization, the last 200 being the worst! Without much introduction to the esoteric aspects of sex, I was able to experience and observe sexual responses, or ancillary sexual responses, far beyond mere orgasm. You could say, “I got lucky,” but I prefer to think of it as being blessed. I am also cursed with curiosity. First, with the use of social media, I validated these experiences with other people. To my great relief, I wasn’t nuts; but now I am pissed!
I wanted to know what was going on in my body and hers’. I started studying sexual science and was again blessed to meet up with Dr. Beverly Whipple, a hard-core scientist, and Dr. Franceen King, a Certified Clinical Sexologist who is a licensed sex therapist in Florida. Many of my experiences were to some extent beyond either of their sciences’, but provided a framework from which I could project solutions. The ancients were very helpful as well.
I looked not only at sexual sciences, but also “modern” anthropology and archeology, the history of sex and sexual politics. What I discovered is that we live under a sexual paradigm, or pattern, of procreation and/or pleasure. That’s it. That is all sex is good for: either pleasure or procreation. Then I saw this paradigm was and is a political construct, having nothing to do with our full range of sexuality and ability to love.
In 1974, Robert C. Solomon noted, “It is one of the dangers of conceptual analysis that the philosophers choice of paradigms betrays a personal bias, but it is an exceptional danger of sexual conceptual analysis that one’s choice of paradigms also betrays one’s private fantasies and obsessions.” What Solomon did not recognize is the overall sexual paradigm under which we in Western civilization currently operate (for 3000 years +/-): pleasure and/or procreation. The paradigms to which he referred were but sub-sets of this one, which in and of itself is a political construct.
To fully understand what was going on in our bodies, I had to look at our sexual anatomy differently than most anatomists. I also had to look at love differently. With these different perspectives my varied sexual responses were easier to explain. In here, I only speak to those experiences I have had or observed. Are there more? All I can say is don’t limit your selves any more!
The next question was: why aren’t more men and women having these experiences? My answer is operative conditioning to maintain the pleasure/procreation paradigm. Yes, there are medical issues, but most of it is a historic head game! Sexual pleasure has had its ups and downs throughout history. Today, there is a lot of focus on pleasure. On one hand, this is good. Pleasure is not the end “goal” of sex, but it is a step toward a third “p” in the paradigm: power! This political construct allows us to oscillate between “pleasure good” and “pleasure bad,” diverting us from power in the expanded paradigm. On the other hand, too much focus on pleasure diverts us from what can really happen for us.
Maintenance of the paradigm may also be viewed as “the war between the sexes.” The primary strategy of war is “divide and conquer.” In this war, the tactics are the four “D’s:” deification, demonization, denigration, and dismissal. I’ve found a number of historic documents that blatantly show these mechanisms and will discuss them in detail later, along with more modern erroneous myths. The problem is even though we are not consciously aware of these myths and misinformation; they permeate our society. I’d never heard of the Myth of Lilith, yet for years limited myself to the missionary position.
Lilith was among the first to be demonized, but the Malleus Maleficarum demonized all women. The goal of deification is to put the opposite sex out of reach, or the sexual relationship as seen between Isis and Osiris. To some extent, even “motherhood” is deified. The extreme end of the sexual paradigm is for men to view women as either sacred brood cows or pleasure palaces: both ludicrous.
Around 1250 ACE, Vincent of Beauvais wrote the Speculum Maius (The Great Mirror), the Funk & Wagnalls Encyclopedia of the time. In there was a section consisting of 2734 chapters called the Speculum Doctrinale. Deep in one of those chapters is an admonishment for husbands not to love our wives too much! This seems to have stuck!
Dismissal can be more damaging than burning at the stake. “Pay her no mind. She’s just a woman.” (I detested Tool Time for this reason.) It would be easy to point out the vile put-downs, or denigration, of women today, particularly in an election year. But they are historic and will continue into the future. We can only change it in ourselves, and by boycotting those who persist in it. One damn good reason is backlash. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! Or, “ Karma is a bitch!” A better reason is what we men (and women) can do for ourselves by violating the Speculum Doctrinale. Just love!
 Solomon, Robert C., J. Phil (11)336-345, 1974
Copyright 1012 Art Noble