It is my opinion there is no such thing as a “sex expert.” Various experts will try and tell you, “If you do this then that will happen.” Or they will tell you, “ALL men or women are like this or that.” I will agree that some generalities may be applicable in some cases at certain times. Mostly I find nothing but authoritative opinion based on limited experience projected onto men and women as universal truths. My response is, “Bullshit!”
When I began my research under the guidance of Dr. Beverly Whipple, one of the great lessons I learned is “all women are different.” So are men. I was acutely aware of her scientific statements: “the data suggest….” And, “it appears that…” This gives us only generalities that are applicable to that specific and tiny study population.
I have experienced and observed a relatively broad range of orgasmic experiences. I have anecdotal evidence of more. I have also learned not to limit ourselves. Just because I don’t know about a specific experience you may have doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Just because you don’t have one of the ones I describe, or have it differently than I describe, only means you don’t have it or have it differently. You are unique where you are right now.
I will say I believe our orgasmic experiences are a function of our unique DNA coding and that is impacted by our epigenome. Much of our epigenome is created by fear. It is essentially like wrapping up our genes with duct tape so they cannot be expressed, or produce the amino acids and thereby proteins that create various sexual responses in our bodies, including pleasure. Just because I believe it doesn’t make it true or a fact. It appears to work.
It also appears “love” un-wraps the “duct tape” from our genes allowing them to express or shut down in cases where they are not supposed to work. This is why I view love as an energy spectrum. I have no idea which frequency or frequencies act on anybody’s genes to produce the varying responses. Neither does anybody else. I can only tell you about a few responses I have experienced, observed or about which I have been advised. I can tell you about things in the human body that appear at a gross level to be common or in some cases unique.
For example, some women as part of their orgasmic experience, will have a clear, copious emission (250 -500+ ml) through the vagina. This is natural for them. Others may have a clear copious emission through the urethra (125 + ml) in addition to the milky emission from the female prostate (5- 15 ml). It doesn’t make any difference. As a guy, my job, our job, is to accept and appreciate what ever response she offers. We also need to listen to her and her body with our heart.
Some women have no control over their responses. They are going to respond the way they do whether we love them or they love us or not. Our love for them simply makes them feel safe, or confident in knowledge we will accept their response with gratitude, no matter what it is. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR RESPONSE! WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING THEM FEEL SAFE ENOUGH SO THEIR BODY WILL RESPOND. Our love for them un-wraps our genes. Their love for us un-wraps their genes.
Some of the fears we hold are buried so deeply in our sub-conscious we don’t even know we hold them. Love seems to work anyway. My opinion is that with love, we are each our own “sex experts,” and I only have one X-chromosome. I can only tell you of a few things that may happen and some of the things in our common history that appear to wrap up our genes. We are fantastic creatures. My wish is for each of us to grow into our fantastic selves.