Archive for October, 2012

Sex: A Mechanism for Transmitting Love?

October 14, 2012

This is an opinion piece. Just because I believe it doesn’t mean it’s “true.” It’s origin is a long discussion on the Professional Sexologists’ discussion Linkedin site, started by an asexual sexual therapist.

It would almost appear that “Professional Sexologists” are addicted to the pleasure arising from sex and are attempting to enable the rest of the earth’s population to become addicted as well. However, since sex is a “normal “ animal function, we can’t be addicted to it. Therefore, there is no such thing as sex addiction and “I’m not one, because it doesn’t exist.”

Then, we have this asexual therapist defending her ground as others attempt to “cure” her, so that she, too, is enabled to derive pleasure from the sex act as they do. Well I’m an alcoholic with 28 years of sobriety, so please don’t offer me a drink!

In Dr. Cindy Meston’s study, “Why Humans Have Sex,” “expressing love” was #5 for women and “expressing affection” was #8 for men. Respondants listed more than one reason, as our reasons change from time-to-time, and #237 was “I wanted to give him AIDS,” but the bottom line was “it feels good.” Also near the bottom of the list at #227 was, “I wanted to see God,” so somebody is catching on.

There are some who say love is in us or from us. I agree, but do not limit love to human containment. Suppose love were also all around us like the earth’s magnetic field? Suppose we could let it in to augment what we already have and transmit it? Four hundred years ago, we knew that compass needles pointed to the North Star, but we had no knowledge of the Earth’s magnetic field. Same with love. We only have anecdotal and some scant empirical evidence of love’s power. (Science nor the establishment will fund research on love because there is no money in it and it might destroy the current economic system.)

Only from my own experience do I also believe that erotic love is the most powerful mechanism for transmitting love having the greatest positive impact on humans. (Note how I generalize.) But, SEX IS NOT THE ONLY WAY! We can transmit love with a smile. Usually a smile does not have the emotional energy of erotic love, so it takes more of them over a longer time period.

Consider Bernini’s “Ecstasy of St. Teresa.” It is one lousy example out of tens of thousands of human existence years and a current population of 7 billion. When I first saw a photo of it, I thought it was a joke Bernini played on the Church. That expression of ecstatic beauty is orgasmic! So, was St .Teresa a virgin having an asexual spiritual experience or was she a surrogate “church” for the priests of the day to consummate their marriage? I now believe the former.

We humans are a fantastic species, each of us unique, from our genetic make-up onward. One size does not fit all! The impact of love’s energy is different for each of us. Again in my opinion and believe system, love is good stuff.

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