Sex is a complex subject. We made it that way. I’ve broken through a lot of my culturally imposed ignorance, political constructs, and myth we are told to live in, to try and explain what was going on in my body. We are all products of Western culture, and many of us live by the same myths. The big one is “humans suck.” We are “shameful creatures, created in sin.” All kinds of crap! My research indicates a much different picture of our potential. We are fantastic!
One of the things I discovered is much of what we “know” about sex and male/female relationship is just opinion or consensus. Were actual current knowledge placed in a stack, it would be about 10 feet tall. When “everything” is known, the stack will reach beyond the stars. Another problem is most of the opinion is based on limited experience, with consensus by others of also limited experience. Though my experiences are beyond the current concept of “orgasm” I have learned there are far more than I can speak to from personal experience. All I ask is we take the limits off ourselves.
Though I have not always been so, I now consider myself “monogamous.” Formerly, “monogamous” was in that I had one “legal” wife, and a few forays on the side, but no affairs. I was so locked up, I never even had affairs with my wives! My first epiphany was ‘women are not for taking to bed, they are for waking up next to.’
I am also a cisgendered heterophile, which is science-speak for a a guy who likes girls. My research has blown my mind! I have found excellent reasons—or are they justifications—for my monogamy. I wanted to project this on to primal man. I have learned from people I trust, many indigenous cultures around the world in the recent past are polysexual: polyandry, polygamy, polyamorous. The Lakota were polyamorous. The Yaqui were polygamous. The aborigine of Australia practiced polyandry. The Inuit would offer a guest their wife as we would offer an electric blanket. It may have been polyandry in Sumeria that brought about the myth of the Sacred Prostitute? Awwwww, come on! Somewhere there’s gotta be a culture that was monogamous? The only thing I can think of is that “sex” was not the big deal in these cultures; it was the attitude. The way you treated each other was the big deal.
The Eastwood movie, Unforgiven, was really not too far off an expression of pioneer culture in this country. Women were scarce. Men who beat their wives were first “talked to,” then beaten and on the third time they disappeared. There wasn’t a 7 year waiting period in those days, so women would remarry. A little bit of history you won’t find in the text books.
Now it seems monogamy is a construct of a patriarchal civilization where women are chattel and wealth is passed on to the eldest son by the father. In primal, polysexual tribes, the concept of “wealth” did not exist. Children belonged to the mother or the tribe. (It takes a village!)
So, I have to ask myself is my monogamy a function of the Judeo-Christian construct in which I was raised? Then I look at Solomon with 300 wives, 1000 concubines, or whatever, and scratch my head? I read Gen.6:2 with a different eye and ask were our attitude changed would we not become as sons of God? Of course, the last question I ask is can I be satisfied with just one? From what I have discovered, absolutely, beyond the moral admonitions! So, as long as I am in a culture that by mouth professes it, why not? Let others do their thing. I’ll do mine.