Archive for December, 2014

Love is Unconditional; Relationships are Conditional.

December 14, 2014

Why do we enter into relationships? Sometimes it is to use others for our own ego based desires. As in business relationships where going in, it is your desire to screw over your partner financially. Sometimes it is a desire to transmit love. It is immaterial with whom or what we desire to love. Many of us love our pets without erotic desire. I say this to indicate a boundary on the love as well as the relationship. We can love many without erotic desire, and erotically desire many without love. Sometimes I think we are all whack jobs.

Too many times we deceive ourselves into thinking love and relationship are synonymous. They are not, but I am a product of the culture and still have this hangover. Relationships have conditions. I show the polysexual map here that to some degree shows the many conditions placed on different polysexual relationships. It is too complex for me. Were I to draw mine, it would be an ever expanding circle with the words “Her” and “Him” in it.

Poly map

One of the principles (guidelines) in relationship to which I adhere is unity. My vision is limited. I cannot figure out how unity can be maintained in polygamous or androgynous relationships or mixin’ and matchin’ This is not to say others cannot. I don’t know. It is tough enough one-on-one to maintain a monogamous relationship. Discussions (arguments). Eternal stresses! Mother’s or Father’s-in-law, or natural!

When we love from our heart and soul, the love is unconditional. Love is energy which can neither be created nor destroyed. It never goes away. The nature of the relationship determines the level of passion in the relationship. Well, that is my view anyway. When conditions and sometimes expectations, are not met in a relationship, the relationship begins to dissolve, but the love remains. (Expectations are un-verbalized conditions. Best to get them into the open.) Even though the relationship is breaking down and the passion diminishing, we still love the person and wonder why and drive ourselves nuts. I came to the conclusion it is OK to still love them, because I do whether I like them or not or even want to continue the relationship?

On one hand, this is where couples counselors make a lot of money, and many times they are worth it. Relationships have been restored to growth many times, but that is a function of the individuals in the relationship and whether or not they can agree to live by the conditions set in the relationship. The point is love and relationship are two different things that are amazingly fantastic when working together and not worth a damn when they are not.


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