I guess a lot of guys don’t think about unity when we get into a relationship. I never did before I got into my research. I had my mind on something else. I didn’t know squat about love either. I figured if I like to give her “things,” I must love her ‘cause I’m cheap! I did know you can’t buy love. So my gifts of “things” were from my heart, not my wallet. But, I never really gave her me. These gifts had nothing to do with unity and unity is where the action is!
The word unity encompasses all the other words we hear about relationships: commitment, fidelity, honor and love. “Do you take this woman/man…” and seldom do they mention unity. We hear about a “union” but it is as if they don’t want unity in the union? Commitment is easy because we can only commit to ourselves. When there is a mutual desire for unity, fidelity is easy too. It is difficult to be in union with one while screwing another. Further when you are screwing another you are not honoring the one with whom you profess to be in unity. As you go through all the ups and downs, love is the glue holding you (plural) together.
Why is this mutual desire for unity so important? Synergy! The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. We are each a part. We can screw our heads off, having magnificent sexual responses, transmitting to one another universal love and it means very little without the mutual desire for unity. Couples can be married for 50 years and never “get it.” They will stay for show or stubbornness and have no concept of unity. Unity is not that difficult, if you really want it and the rewards are beyond amazing.
Intimate sexual relationships are not the only kinds of relationships where unity and synergy can be achieved, as I point out in my book. We can be in unity with our friends and neighbors as well. It takes love to get there. Sometimes, we can get there without knowing it until we are there. Bottom line is love is the path to follow. Brotherly love works too.