When I started studying “sex” 15 years ago, I never thought it would open so many other fields, and provide radically different perspectives on darn near everything. When I learned a lot of women fake orgasms, I wondered why? I thought it might be a head game; not one that women played, but one that had been played on women. My research indicated I might be correct.
It was with recent insights I was able to put it together—at least in my mind. At birth, we are dependent on our parents for survival. As we grow, we accept their authority. This is assumed a “truth” going back to primal man, before civilization. One of the conditions not recognized or considered by anthropologists today is the “tribe”of primal man had to be interdependent for survival. Authority was transferred to the tribe as the child grew.
It is my thesis the primal child’s interdependent relationship with parents, the tribe and the world around the child-man was a function of love. When I look at the behaviors and attributes of love, they are applicable across the board to our fellow human beings and the world around us. And then, we got greedy! One man, later a group of men, decided they wanted more. To provide more, we (they) created “civilization.” Slowly, authority was transferred to this group we call kings and priests. Authority was maintained by fear, force and confusion. As language developed and became “written”, conditioning became easier. Language became a mechanism for operative conditioning.
The primary word we had to modify and redefine to make operative conditioning work was love. Today it is generally limited to boy/girl stuff and confused with sex, which is either for pleasure or procreation. Other words, once a respected part of man’s lexicon were denigrated and forbidden or vaguely redefined to confuse us. Other phrases have come into vogue that limit us.
Genetics is a field of study so complex, not even those who study it for a living fully understand it. My simplistic, even childlike view, indicates to me a number of things.
What we think based on our operative conditioning impacts us at the genetic level, probably by modifying our epigenome, i.e. creating histone tails and modifying methyl groups that prevent our genes from expressing, and,
This also affects our perception of every thing from colors to our life experiences.
Further, this epigenome may be, in full or part, transmitted in fetal development.
Ya gotta admit, this makes our operative conditioning a lot easier!
The nice thing about interdependence as it applied to primal man is he knew about love with out knowing he knew. Our best examples of those who love without knowing are infants and small children with Down’s syndrome. They just love. They haven’t been “worked on” by parental or outside operative conditioning…yet.
Back to women and their inability to enjoy an orgasmic experience, what are the head games we’ve played over the centuries that led many to this result? It would appear to me making women chattel at the dawn of civilization started our decline in intimate love. The various marriage and sexual “laws” in ancient Western history reinforced this. The big document in Western culture is the Malleus Maleficarum, which though I’ve never read in its entirety, impacted my perception of women at the subconscious level. The Myth of Lilith also impacted me and therefore my partners. However it is the last 200 to 300 years where most of the damage to both men and women is perpetrated.
It is my goal here only to point out the illegitimate origin of words and phrases with which we are burdened, as they may relate to erotic love. Erotic love appears to be the most powerful way in which our epigenome is positively impacted. After that, it is up to you.