Sex is a head game based on myth, ignorance and misdirection. The human body is a fantastic creation, much of it working just fine without any outside help. Further it can be trained both physically and mentally to operate either beyond or below its “normal” functions. Normal is defined “mathematically” as what most people do and think.
A hasty generalization would be most of us are genetically predisposed to heterosexual relationships and inculcated to monogamy. Some are not. Within the majority, most are unaware of normal physiological sexual responses beyond small orgasms and many women are lacking even these. We are trained and conditioned to deny our sexuality, our humanity.
Most women in the USA have suffered sexual abuse in some form ranging from emotional abuse to sexual molestation (under 16) and rape. This exists to some degree in every country in the world. Our experience, including the myths we are taught to believe, uniquely shapes our perceptions. Perceptions have their origins in our heads. Ergo, sex is a head game.
The myth under which most men suffer is sex is about pleasure: “getting their rocks off.” Women are then either used like blow-up dolls for self-pleasure, or so much pressure is placed on men to “satisfy” their partner, they suffer emotional erectile dysfunction. These are extremes, but they exist with an infinite range in between.
My experience and research have impacted my perception of sex as well. Today, I see sex as a mechanism for transmitting love, where pleasure and ecstasy are by-products. But we are not trained to love. We are trained to not love, including in our intimate relationships. Thankfully, some men have escaped the myths and conditioning and can love. Not many, but they are out there! Our re-training continues, for as it is said, “God isn’t finished with us yet.”
Copyright Art Noble 2012