To write about sexual love, I had to learn a little about sex. Actually, like most of us, I put the cart before the horse. I was more interested in sex and then had my epiphany on love. I’m a guy. Waddaya expect? First, love is not necessary to engender any sexual response! Just because it’s sex, doesn’t mean it’s love. One woman confided in me, she had an orgasm while being raped! Most guys will tell you they have orgasms with women they don’t even know, or like or love. If you pinch yourself on the arm, the response is pain. A response is a response is a response. However, guys will also tell you their response is so much better, even when they only think they are in love.
Most sexual responses are pleasurable. (The Kundalini can be excruciatingly painful.) Therefore we think that sex is about pleasure, and for most of us, it is. But, when we think of sex as a mechanism for transmitting love, it can be ecstatic, where pleasure is a by-product or side effect, and orgasm becomes a non-event! We must crawl before we walk and run before we fly. These responses are simply presented as a matter for your awareness and acceptance. Let’s look at some of the pleasurable responses for which our bodies have the capacity, but we don’t fully enjoy. There are probably many more.
Uncommon? Most guys don’t have a bit of problem with this one. But, according to a study related by Dr. Laura Berman, about 50% of the sexually active women in this country have never experienced an orgasm. This would indicate it is an uncommon experience.
So what is an orgasm? Freud said there were two kinds: clitoral and vaginal. We’ll see how full of crap he was in a minute. Bioenergetics also claims two kinds: climax – involuntary muscle contractions in the genitalia, and orgasm – involuntary muscle contractions all over the body. First, “climax” is a lousy word because it implies “the end” when it may be just the beginning. But, yes, there are involuntary muscle contractions associated with orgasm.
To see how many kinds there are, we need to look at our sexual anatomy. Both men and women have three major nerve pathways from the genitalia to the spinal column: pudendal, pelvic and hypogastric. Women have an additional pathway, the vagus nerve pathway, connected to the cervix and uterus, wandering around her body and directly connecting to the brain. If we think of sex as “the mental and/or physical stimulation of nerve endings, creating electrochemical energy, resulting in pleasurable sensations in the genitalia and other sexual responses,” then orgasm is a function of nerve stimulation. Partially.
With women having four major pathways, we could say there are 24 possible combinations of stimulation (Factoral 4 = 24) therefore 24 different kinds of orgasm. Men, with three major pathways then have the possibility of six. But there are 14 different structures and sensitive areas in the female genitalia (that we know of today) connected to these pathways, and 7 in the male genitalia. If we took all the possible numerical combinations for women, it would be about ½ billion different kinds of orgasm. It is pretty silly to argue about it and our belief systems control our responses anyway. So, let’s just say there are little ones and big ones.
Multiple and Sequential Orgasms
Male orgasm is generally associated with ejaculation. Not always! Men may experience a series of pleasurable vibrations in the penis without losing rigidity or ejaculate! A better description would be “penis buzzing.” This may occur in 5 to 10 second bursts, or longer, during intercourse. It may also occur after orgasm, when flaccid, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours. The latter can be quite disconcerting.
Masters and Johnson described “four phases” of the sexual process, the last, “refractory phase,” following orgasm. Men lose tumescence and it takes from a few minutes to a few hours to regain it. (It doesn’t have to be a stiffie. Workable chubbies also do the job.) Women more easily may have multiple orgasms than men, but we aren’t out of the running! As long as he keeps going, she may keep coming!
The difference between multiple and sequential orgasms is simply the time interval between orgasms. If a man stops after orgasm, without “after-play,” then the woman’s body also goes through a refractory period and we have to start all over.
Both men and women have a prostate gland, the source of ejaculate. The male prostate is neatly snuggled up against the bladder, encased in the prostatic capsule. The female prostate is a collection of ducts and glands ranging from around 30 to over 100, scattered along the urethra, generally in Caucasian women, bunched up toward the front (opening) of the urethra.
Of the 50% of sexually active women who have orgasms, only 10 to 40% (depending on which study you read) will ejaculate. There are indications in Rwanda, “all” the women ejaculate. Although a very small portion of those that do not ejaculate may have medical problems preventing it, it is suggested most of the preventative mechanism is in our minds. In the 1600’s in France, women stopped ejaculating as a birth control mechanism. It didn’t work. (See The Bible and Female Ejaculatory Orgasms.) Since the ejaculatory orgasm is about ten times more pleasurable than non-ejaculatory orgasms, that was quite a sacrifice! The Church stopped promoting female ejaculation as a mechanism for conception after 1784, when artificial insemination was proven. It was too much fun for the ladies.
Orgasmic Vaginal Discharge (OVD)
Although this usually also occurs with orgasm, when it occurs, it may also occur in combination with female ejaculation. The prostate gland will secrete, or ejaculate, about 5 to 10 cc’s of prostatic fluid through the urethra. OVD is a copious flow through the vagina of unknown origin and composition. There is no science on this. Many scientists are still arguing over whether or not women can ejaculate. Let them argue. Women will still ejaculate.
There is a technique in Tantric sex for increasing orgasmic flow called, Amitra. I do not know if this pertains to ejaculation or OVD. Not all women exhibit this. The ones who have confided in me say this is just what they do when they have orgasms, and it has been that way since the first one.
This is when one or both parties glow (actually emit photons) on orgasm. A shamanic breathing ritual, called “Dragons Fire/Breath,” produces a glow in the practitioner. It is possible that during the orgasmic plateau phase of intercourse, the partner’s breathing mimics this practice, producing the glowing results. Also, it is possibly a function of excess Adenosine Tri Phosphate (ATP) that changes into photons, just like in fireflies.
This will take a blog by itself! Briefly, it is an altered state of consciousness created by altered brain chemistry. There are many disciplines to train the mind and body for this experience, but sometimes, it just happens. Dr. Jenny Wade’s book, Transcendent Sex, lists most of these forms along with the following observations:
· Sexual techniques and mechanics have no bearing on transcendence.
· Transcendence may occur between couples without sexual congress.
· Orgasm is not a causal factor. It may occur without, before during or after orgasm, and orgasm becomes a non-event.
· Sexual abuse is not a causal factor.
· Transcendence may occur in the later years of a marriage or on a one-night stand.
· It “transcends” religious beliefs and sexual orientation.
· It is not a guarantee of “true love,” nor should it be a goal in sexual love. It is just something that happens, sometimes.
Our “transformation” or growth in consciousness from sexual love may also be a function of altered brain chemistry. Transcendence” may be thought of as temporary, where Transformation is more or less permanent. Physical work, or work outs at a gym, grow our muscles. Education (may?) grow our brains (or brainwash us). Love grows our consciousness and sexual love beats th’ hell out of sitting cross-legged on a mountain top for 15 or 20 years. This will be continued in another blog.
Guys, why should we grow our consciousness? Most of the 500 wealthiest men in America interviewed by Napoleon Hill for his book, Think and Grow Rich, mentioned sexual love as the mechanism that transformed them, giving them access to infinite intelligence and enabling them to be millionaires. Edward Leedskalnin, the guy with a 4th grade education, built Coral Castle, now in Homestead, Florida, out of limestone blocks weighing 14 tons, having the construction precision that matches the Pyramids and Machu Picchu! His love was unrequited! Yes, there are advantages to love.
Copyright Art Noble 2011
Tags: aphrodisiac, Bible, bioluminescence, controversy, female ejaculation, female orgasms, female sexual response, glow, intimacy, love, magic, magical, orgasm, relationships, romance, sex, sexual love, sexual spirituality, soul mate, spiritual sexuality, spirituality, Tantric sex, The Sacred Female